Ground Zero
Life can be complicated.
Me? I like to keep it all simple.
But I have had to fight a bit for my personal simplicity.
I remember when cell phones were first available.
“I’ll never have a cell phone. Why would I need one”
Then I got a Blackberry.
“I don’t see the need for texting. I’ll never text.”
Then I got an Android.
My whole family had IPhones.
At the time you couldn’t share Gifs, etc between the two.
Then I got an IPhone.
“I’ll never get on social media.”
And I never have.
And I never will.
Which puts me in a distinct position to make some observations. Here’s a big one.
Remember when George Bush (the younger) stood at Ground Zero after 911 and said, "I hear
you. The whole world hears you."? That's how I feel about our connections today.
Golly, that unsettles me.
For all the connecting on SM, most people are disconnected.
I think phones, which are computers in our purses, backpacks, and pockets, are a barrier to true
connection. We’ve all been in a crowded room, having a conversation when the other person
makes eye contact with someone else and smiles or says, “Hey, I’ll be right with you” and then
turns back to you. You feel second best or dismissed or at the very least, like you should hurry
up and finish what you’re saying.
Golly, I hate that.
But this is happening all the time now via our phones. Apparently, I’m not the only one who
thinks this way and there’s a name for it. Turning away from someone in conversation to look
at your phone is called Phubbing (a cousin to Snubbing). Just having a phone on the table
between two people produces the same feeling of not being heard. Think about it. It basically
says, “You are interruptible because if my phone lights up or dings, I’m picking it up and giving
my attention to someone else.
Golly, this makes me sad.
We’ve all experienced this. And while I don’t mean to throw my husband under the bus, I’m
going to use a recent dinner in Charleston, SC as an example. The restaurant was beautiful, wait
staff was attentive, food was amazing. (S.N.O.B.-I highly recommend it!) A young woman with a
beautiful voice was singing some songs that reminded us of our oldest daughter (Coldplay). Out
comes his phone to record her and then send the video to the family. I felt like I was off to the
side, like he was having a moment with someone else. When did we start thinking we need to
capture EVERY moment on our phones? Even as I think of this in retrospect, I’ll give him the
recording the music, but why the need to send it right away?
Why not wait until we left the restaurant, got back to our hotel?
Golly, that still hurts a bit.
I hope I’m making you think, because I’ve really made me think.
Here’s what I’m going to do:
The ringer on my phone will be silent (I actually already do this).
When I’m at a restaurant, my phone stays in my purse. This is also a great hygiene move.
Touching your phone and then picking up your hamburger? Golly, that’s gross!
When I am face to face with someone, my phone will not be seen.
I’m going to make a concerted effort to give my full attention to whoever is in the room, and to
look around, take in the environment, make memories, make eye contact, and focus.
Writing this was good for me. I've had times when I've considered giving up my office and going
completely virtual....usually happens around the time my rent is due. Ha! But I LOVE meeting in
person with women.. And while I am glad I can connect with women all over the world through
technology, I wish every one of them could be in my sweet space. It is special. Come see me
sometime!
Golly, I'd love that!
I’ll leave you with this. Last night as we sat in rooftop restaurant on our way home from South
Carolina, a couple was sitting near us on two sofas. They were together, but they weren’t even
facing each other. Both of them, heads down, were on their phones. And while they were
looking up from time to time, smiling and laughing, I’m sure they thought they were enjoying
the moment together. But it wasn’t just the two of them. It was them PLUS, the whole world
(wide web).
Good golly, that’s big!
Think about it.
You’re important to me.
I’m truly here for you.
Want to talk?
Reply to this email. I mean it.
It doesn’t even have to be about weight loss or health.
I just don’t want you to feel alone or not heard.
UPDATE: The January “Your 5 Day Cleanse” has been postponed. I’m refiguring it into a “3 Day
Cleanse” and will let you know when it’s up and running.
2025 Kick in the Butt offer:
Need a quick turn around?
I’m offering a short season of coaching. I don’t typically offer anything less than 8-10
sessions/program.
But during the months of January and February, you can purchase 4 sessions (1 session/week)
for $300.
I’m going to kick your butt. We can get a lot done in 4 weeks!
And hey, If I’m with you and my phone is between us, call me out on it.
Do me a favor and send me some suggestions you have for being present with others.
Merry Christmas!
Spend time with the ones you love….without your phone!
Talk soon,
Renee
PS- Hubby gave me permission to share the restaurant story.
Golly, I love that guy.